an outtake

Last night when I was talking to a very dear friend, I stumbled upon something very important; I stood up in front of the mirror after God knows how long and I looked into my eyes, my now empty and opaque eyes, a tear rolled down my cheek and I smiled for I had discovered the ultimate truth. It was as if I had received a reality check in the world of made up scenarios that had consumed me.
I finally could see who I had become, I had become someone I promised myself not to ever be.

The sky had an outtake as well

How could I have forgotten about the promise I made to myself? How could I have not been true to myself? How did I hide myself behind the curtains? How did I drop myself in the pit and never looked back? the questions began pop above my head like fireworks in the sky on 4th of July.

It was late at night and I was drowning in my solitude, I remembered the words of my friend and they started echoing in my mind like acid on marble.
I then realized how toxic some people actually were in my life and that how much I had lost myself in their toxic words that I, too had become a toxin.
It has been 20 hours since that conversation but the effects will last for 20 years.
There are words that I need to remind myself from time to time, ''I am not in a movie'' ''the things that I feel are not concerning others'' ''This is not a scripted movie'' ''I don't have to watch myself play this role anymore'' ''I can shut them out, I can stop them'' ... to be continued.